Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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