i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
zippers are such a cool invention
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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