I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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