I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
birth control should be required to get into college
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
