Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize