we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
