Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
