For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
