So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just cropdusted the office
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
