So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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