i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
