I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
