I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
wow bdsm is so cute
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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