after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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