Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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