it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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