Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize