whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
