Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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