I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
