I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
