just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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