I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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