I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
