Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
