I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
