drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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