Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
