He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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