Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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