yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
