if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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