Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
