on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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