There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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