You're completely useless in the revolution.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
