I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
