she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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