I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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