You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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