sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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