Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
there is glitter all over my balls
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