my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize