we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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