Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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