Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
