she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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