I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
