You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
