was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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