It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
