So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
