girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize