Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
