Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
