Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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