i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
