you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
