But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
