Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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