I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
