Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
